We're moving on!

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It is with both a big sigh and a big smile that we will soon be leaving this blog--the only one among so many that I've had all these years and the only one that really got me going.

It is this blog that kept everything that I just wanted out of my brain, all the dirt and the unnecessary thoughts, and those overflowing from my cup that needed something to catch, lest they fall back into the earth unused. It is also the same blog that showered in the cries of my heart and perhaps it has gone deaf of my whinings.

But my heart could not contain as much this gladness that is raining down on me. Finally, after years and years of wanting and planning, we launch our own website. Perhaps in a way this is symbolic as it could be about how I am moving on with my life.

Close friends and I love to refer to me as a "Goldy Bear", but where have I been all these past years? "Hibernating!" But then I have awakened. And I come to rise with that slow and full stretching, a little nudging, a little wanting to go back to bed and curl up again...

But with the magnificent thoughts of the sun shining outside, of the fresh air, of the flowers and the trees, and all the fruits and nuts and honey that await, I am in the waking up of a lost consciousness, the momentous redemption of a lost pride, and the continuation of a journey that was commenced and halted for sometime, in order to claim the glory of a life that earlier in my youth I have deferred through the prostitution of desires. (Don't bother asking, my musings are carrying my words away from my thoughts today!)

Yes, I have already compromised a lot of "what could have beens", so today, we move on, to a whole new adventure of the Midnight Writer.

Set sail with me. Life goes on. Cheers!

"pagkasulnop, minabanggui, rumdumon ang mga agi-agi".

.

ini sarong katukduan

sa paagi ni mamu liloy:



mag muni-muni bago mag idlip...

inspeksyuna an saimung sadiri.

anu daw kun nagi kan marhay,

kun ika magturog na dae nang bungkaras,

ika daw sa kaogmahan na daeng

kasagkoran makakaheras?

A Little Love Story

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There is a story told to us by a young priest from our diocese about true love in action. As I recollect, this is how the story goes:

One time, he came back to his hometown to pay respects to a departed relative. The dead was mother to a young man married to a young lady who used to work as secretary in their parish.


Now, after a while of stay in the survivor's house, the young priest noticed that the husband was saying a lot of weird things. At first it was thought that it was merely a play of jokes to console himself, but time came when he would say the weirdest of weird things, all out of nowhere, like: "Would you know how it happened that when I placed some strings on a platter and had it covered, when I opened, it already turned to pancit!"--It was like his thoughts have kept him in some insert of dimension we know nothing of that it became clear he was indeed spacing out and getting deranged.


This was further evident in every time they sat down together for coffee during breakfast and share some bits and pieces of wit and laughter. Also, the man cared less about the way his trousers go and so his shirt, and all about him was a mess.


All the other people who know the couple, would group together to discuss about how pitiful the wife is. Every so often they would visit her and talk her out, convincing her that she should leave the insane husband already.


They would tell her that she is still young and she is beautiful. She doesn't deserve any thing like her husband. She deserves to be happy and live a comfortable life with a man who can take care of her and provide for her needs.


But every day, the woman religiously does her tasks in that house. She gets up early and prepares good meals for the man. She cared for him like a child and respected him all the same as her husband. She did not hate him for becoming such. She would help him bathe and dress up and comb his hair when it gets into shambles. When at times people scoff at her, she doesn't give in to them and up till this time, they are still together as husband and wife as she simply shows them that she continues to be a faithful wife despite the husband's situation.

A very simple story indeed. In these times when the congress is busy discussing about legalizing divorce and annulment of marriages, it is inspiring for the Christian community to know that by the sanctity of marriage and virtue of true love, divorce is an unnecessary law.And as Father Joseph lays it out for us, this is just how the love of God is for man: an unconditional love.

It is interesting that the young wife stays by her husband's side. Could it be that the wife understands that there are events which happen beyond our comprehension, but there is nothing to worry, fret, or fear, because everything is sure to fall into their proper places when we put our trust in the Lord our God for He is Love and LOVE IS THE ONLY TRUE INTELLIGENCE? Maybe.

To think, what need does God have for man? Nothing. He has everything to Himself. He is the source of everything. He is the creator of the world. He is the giver of life. We cannot have faith if we are not in his subsistence. We cannot do anything without his providence and help. And yet he continues to love us. Despite our madness over worldly things, our madness at continually falling into sin and separating ourselves from the love of God, and still God seeks us, calls us, embraces us.

This is the Good News. The Kerygma that every heart touched by the Love of God, every soul moved by the Words of Life should announce to the world: GOD LOVED US WHEN WE ARE SINNERS.


He did not love us only when we have made steps to be come clean, to have our sins washed away by our baptism and renewal of faith.... he had already loved us from the beginning....

Let us remember, God is good to everyone be it a sinner or a saint, because GOD IS LOVE.

--
Posted by innocentthing at 2:14 PM Friday, February 27, 2009
Towards You: Walking from Darkness into the Light, one small step a day.
Tags: enthousiasmos, True Love Stories

Sharpening the Pencil

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"Value solitude greatly for everything that pondering can unearth, out of the piles of thoughts of the human mind, and out of those feelings scattering on the floors of the heart. Do drink to the pleasures of hearing out the beats and voices of other souls who are looking at the same sky: in discourse we do not only exchange ideas, we become either foes or allies at finding the rightful place to take our stand and fight."

...

For the past two years, writing was more than just a passion for me--it has been my life. It is what I have always liked to do, but it was also something I always had to do. Being a bummer I have all the time in the world to muse, so excuse that this blog is filled with my blabbers.

When other people ask me what I do for a living, I am wonted to say that I am a call center agent, which is true enough if to look at where I get a monthly salary out of spending eight hours of my every weekday/night and somehow it pays the bills. But I am the kind of person who has a life outside of work.

And of people who are my own, they need not ask the same question--they know the truth out of the wasted pens the garbage picker always finds on my bin and the stockpile of paper filled with many scribbles (which are mostly illegible to curious eyes) on top and underneath my desk; if not, by the time I spend keying-in words on the computer. Despite that I have more than enough work in supervising the account assigned to me, I would always find time to write and write.

...

At home, music is my father's greatest interest, and my mother's, mathematics. The eldest sister will pay you attention if you are speaking, thinking, and having food. The elder brother loves communal events and the outdoors while the younger of him is hooked to computers and science books, but they agree on soccer, table tennis, basketball, and chess. Altogether, everyone in the family supports me in my writing endeavors. The last child born next to me after a decade, I fondly call "Shadow" for always wanting to be almost everywhere I go (but she is actually the more sociable and I am the more recluse of us two so when we are together she usually speaks before I do so I am like her echo or alterego).

From high school, I belonged to a large circle of friends, and not everyone of us are deeply interested in letters and words. Others have a passion for fashion, others in music or arts, and still others of miscellaneous sorts. Nonetheless, I have never ran out of support from them. They always poured it as necessary, I never felt I wanted of any. It filled me with enough confidence to pursue writing in college. It was there where I first found delight in community with people of similar interest.

In my present company, I first worked as a writer. I did have a writing partner and there were also other writers like us in the office, but the environment was not much of help--I was back to being a lonesome writer no sooner than about a month. Then there were changes that had to be made. I was given the task of overseeing an account and occasionally, I was on the phone. Later, I had to give up writing tasks.

Then, not long ago, some work colleagues and I became a team, and we did work together as writers. For work, we wrote technical and field-specific articles: far from the thoughts of my midnight musings and the style is also more formal than what you would usually find on this blog. I do get paid for my writing services, and my earnings out of those endeavors are what can be called pin money, which supports my lifestyle quirks and largely funds my food trips, art ramblings, and pilgrimages. The feeling was different this time, for before we worked together, we were already friends. We also keep our own blogs , but still our main interests vary largely. One writes about sports, the other music, and I was more inclined to write of literature and philosophy.

...

I seek the community of people who do have the same interests as me--not a mere sameness of activity, but a cosmic oneness--yes that same force that keeps the world together in the midst of life's complexities and diversity. I do not know how else it can be described, but that is it for me. Soon as this realization hit me, it was then that I began to explore the world again and dare to stand before others to communicate, learn, and share with others who are on the same road and are moving towards the same destination. This is how I continue to live, and of more that I will be experiencing ahead of the road, I hope to affirm my existence.

...

I will travel and I will read and I will listen and I will discourse and I will write as much as I can.

It's time to sharpen the pencil once again.

Autumn Fireflies - Part 1 of 3

Fireflies, we learn through science, are bioluminiscent... they are few of the species on earth that have the utter capability of producing light through photic organs. Although the precise mechanisms of how this bioluminiscence works are still at issue, it has become a generaly accepted hypothesis that fireflies use their luminiscence as warning signals, especially usefeul in communication and even, in procreation....


Fireflies are most numerous in autumn and are usually active at dusk, at almost an hour before the sun sets--a comely audition for a metaphor to the writer, who in the words of the modest Rabindranath, "spell the day as night to justify their ink's spilling," celebrating the virtues of creation and recreation, finding joy in giving life to ideas through words that ought never to depart, and if could, ought to shed light to this gloomy world....

 

Autumn Fireflies is a 3-part series of posts featuring my first attempt to build a site filled with Bicol poetry written in the tradition and form that alludes to the writings of classic and contemporary oriental writers.

The first part is an invitation, quoting 3 poems which have evolved over time. I will post their new versions after this 3-part special. The second is the first of my works under the genre of creative nonfiction called "Chasing the Sun...", with footnotes and resource for further reading. And lastly, look on for my first poem written in the Bicol language, presented through enjambment and also filed under creative nonfiction.

The finale poem is a Bicol adaptation of "After the Twilight", which inspiration derives from a night of watching the fireflies with fellow romantics in a scenic place in Daraga called Busay back in 2003.

Jazz it up!

Fluid emotions swimming through a wild current of ideas

We all love to know. We love to know that the ones we love are just close by. We love to know what plans our loved ones are getting perky about. We love to know how things are going on for the people we care about. It is for this reason we love to communicate, whether with just a touch or by an exchange of words.

But there are moments in our lives when we are simply void of understanding. We are bereft of any information about the going-ons in the lives of the people we care for. And though we could think about the possibilities, our visions become myopic.

At these moments, a firm grip or a warm embrace may fill in for the gaps and bridge through the silences....to make up for the unknowing....but just then, during these moments, it's as if you can't get through to them...try as you might, it is like there rises walls that come dividing or pitfalls that keep you separated...

But for whatever reason or cause is the struggle, it's losing control of things that makes many of us weak until our senses fail down to the base and loose the ability to use common sense. 

Remember how you have to keep your hands open to contain dry sand? The world has never changed in the way it works: To love is still to lose control.

    *When You Can't Trace His Hand,
              When You Don't See His Plan,
       When You Don't Understand,    
                   Trust His Heart....*

It is in this same image that our relationship with God is forged in spirit and fire. Many times in our lives, we think God has forgotten about us and is not willing to help us get what we want the most.

We seek him but then he is just right with us...and even when we could not marvel at what his plans are, if we only put our trust in him, we can be sure that things will fall into their proper places.

 

Picture Credit: G. Longoria
Jump to Post:

~I am crazy for even worrying.

Living firm in the faith, rooted and planted in his love.

*From the lyrics of a Babbie Mason song, "Trust His Heart"

"I AM GOING TO MADRID!"

Everywhere it reverberates in some short lines, quick shoutouts, pictures, posts, tags: "I am going to Madrid!"

I go looking around Facebook, checking out what's the news about fellows I met along the way during the NYD 2010 Pilgrimage in Dagupan as well as those I met on the first pilgrimage I joined in Iloilo back in 2008 and the desire only grows stronger.

Even more at seeing Nica and her fellows in their community have "A Taste of Spain" on their walls:

I want to go too! "I am going to Madrid!"

But who among us would not want to? Given the opportunity, it is a welcome experience.

However, we need to act and do something. It is given that going to Madrid means making sacrifices. There will be expenses that need to be covered, and there will also be costs which will have to be incurred.

For an ordinary employee such as me, it means finding ways and means to raise funds (which can be by working extra, selling stuff, doing fund raisers, and/or seeking out gifts or donations from willing sponsors), and needing to be away on those days will also mean sacrificing income for about a week for not working through on those days while out on pilgrimage.

Well, I've tried it before for the NYD 2010 Pilgrimage, and it wasn't at all easy. But on the top and bottom and even on the insides and out of it, it was by the grace of God that I was really able to get there.

~I am crazy for even worrying.

My mind is blank, to begin with. I am literally still clueless as to how exactly will I manage to raise funds because if I will only rely on what I could think of, I don't see myself flying off for any WYD at all in the next 2 meetings. Anyhow, I do hope that our community here in Legazpi will also come up with something that can help us pull things together.

So moving on, what else is there for me to do, but lift it up to Him.

I pray. And so I write.

finding my corner in your life

In this world, there is more hunger for affection than food, and having to find good friends is like finding some place to feed the heart's hunger.

In each friendship,  we find a place by which we can share with our friends the things that we get in life whether it be good or bad or whether it is what we want or what we are served by the master chef.

there are as many friendships in life as there are many food chains and bistros in this place. but no matter how classy the restos business talks bring you, or no matter how fab places where you and your work colleagues go to after a long week at the office, there arent perhaps too many nooks or hubs with which real friends continue to be the happiest people to enjoy meals with.

fast food friends are easy to come and easy to go but are also easy to find that it doesnt hurt so much when one cant seem to be found, there is always another one nearby.

the homier bistros and cafe's are the sorts you know are just somewhere out there and will always be there for you. with them you are calm and can be so who you are and when you feel like you need to change a few things about you, still it's the same old place where you find your self and slacking down a couch to listen to the familiar tunes of your life.

and maybe, the ones to cherish the most are the people with whom you can go eating with under the comfort of their own homes, if not, beneath the open skies, or wherever life brings you. Even if it's just a pack of sandwiches, a piece of bread, or some warm soup, it's the feeling of having the world around you that makes it a happy and worthwhile moment.

With these people, you can talk about things that may or may not so much matter in life and they will either laugh with you or kick your butt and knock your head off for being so silly and yet they make you happy because they are the people who tickle your fancies and fancy your tickles.

Artsy Betz

I'm a lover of nature. I love eco-inspired designs and green stuffs.

I am kind of exhausted writing several articles today to for a client and thought of visiting some craft blogs and came across an old favorite: Sewing Green by Betz White.

though it's usually warm here in our region, it gets really cold during early mornings as summer ends and through the rainy season that I've somewhat developed a love for sweaters and cardigans and yes, even scarfs! well, scarfs aren't always just for the wintery parts, there are more out there which are truly fashionable ones which definitely look great anytime of the year--and even better when you're out basking in the sun like this Felted Heart Scarf.

She also has a lot of cute stuff mostly made out of felt--and in the colors i like so much--like this leaf scissor holder. Her collection of fuzzy felt creations are just so awesome I occasionally visit her blog for some inspiration for last-minute DIY fashion updates on my existing wardrobe.

and guess what? her latest post features my favorite kind of yellow: the sunflower! Click here for the article.

For the liking of Neruda (^.~)

Credits: Page elements by chellyscraps of www.chelsant.blogspot.com

Text copied from new love quotes from words-of-love-poems-and-quotes.com

Taking after the Czech poet Jan Neruda Chilean writer and politician Neftalí Ricardo Reyes Basoalto is better known in the  Pablo Neruda in the literary realm, and later on, in the political arena.

A master of surrealism in poetry and political  manifestos in the 20th century, he was awarded the 1971 Novel Prize for Literature.

I have yet to read his controversial collection of love poems, Veinte poemas de amor y una canción desesperada but even in the most political of his works--from his speeches to other political writings--his talent is easy to sense, weaving each word unto each sentence, as if it were each rightful place, in between each space and comma and colons and dashes and pauses that abide by the ardent punctuation of each thought.

And yet of all the words spoken of him by the people of his time, it is from Borges perhaps that the fine line that divides the dimensions of his thought into subdivisions of poetics and politics are made visible and clear to all:

"I think of him as a very fine poet, a very fine poet. I don't admire him as a man, I think of him as a very mean man."

And yet again, for a nation that has went through so much oppression from within its own boundaries, his meanness was so great as to give up his own presidential nomination to support the man who at his time was thought of to become, and today has been, the notable Salvador Allende of Chile's democratic socialist state.

if you can picture it in your mind, i am smiling :)

Other people find themselves at the sea wall park by sunset to be captured within the magic hours of the day, but what today dawns upon us who have been here through the night is the pinkish red tints of the sky complemented by the foggy atmosphere of daybreak at the frontiers of the city by the sea, and the moment is just as lovely.

looking at the world through the blue moon lit wings of a firefly at dawn

to be close to someone's heart, is different from being the one it beats for.
it is like standing in front of a house and you are not allowed to enter the door.
it is like watching life happening without the world giving a damn that you ever existed.
it is like finding yourself in a dream that you are so aware that you are dreaming only.

it has been said too many times, it is not good to be expecting; for, charity is to be without expectations. and yet the human heart is frail, just as the mind is frail, it is weak against the maddening thoughts that come along with that tender desire to be a part of somebody's world and life. and as this world and life spoken about opens itself up to the realities of the world the desiring heart thrives in, it is reason that compels it to its deathbed. in the case of the fearful heart, it is a doubled pain of seeing itself insignificant to win out a contest of feelings, and of feeling the torments of the judge's inadvertence to what the world is persistently witnessing.

dreams are truly magical events, for the magic of dreams is in the soul's believing it were real, and it can only be as plain ideas as an ordinary fragment of sand on the road when the mind's eye is awakened to the fact the dream's reality, is that it is but a dream.

and yet, i continue to believe in dreams and the magic that they are. for, my heart continues to beat, and my mind continues to wonder.....and so again with sleepless eyes that watch the pixie's hands sprinkling the minutest dusts, i am looking at the world through the blue moon lit wings of a firefly at dawn with palms closed onto each other in a sign of prayer.

Mens sana in corpore sano

...and the woman touched him... -Mark 5:21-34

 Jan 25, '09 6:53 PM - for everyone

A sound mind in a sound body.

How healthy are you? 

How do you say that you are healthy? 

Is it by knowing that you are not suffering from any illness or disease at this moment, or more so, the fact that you haven't felt anything unusual with your body for the longest time you could remember? Have you checked with your doctor and that's what he said? Well, that is just great!

But are you not feeling sick despite that you know you're not ill, not suffering any disease? Are you wounded but without any visible lacerations or thrashing? Do feel like everything is too heavy to carry when the both of your hands are empty and so are your pockets?

We have the doctors to take care of our bodies, but of our minds, so complex and unique to each of us, only the maker knows its conditions, of what it has gone through, of what is going on in there.

So if you happen to be feeling that there is something is amiss in your life, be it health in body, financial stability, or a happy state of mind, there is a place where you can find HEALING.

That place is HOME. Jesus awaits you there. He is the greatest Physician who has ever walked the earth. Come to him and he will listen to all that you have to say. He can answer every question you have in your heart. If you are hungry, he will even feed you. All you need is pay Him your attention.

JESUS says, "Let me know you and love you so that I may find joy in you."

He is waiting for you. Don't be afraid. Even if you stand naked because of having sinned like Adam and Eve, Jesus will receive you like the Father in the story of the Prodigal Son did: he will clothe you with the finest robe and even spread a banquet for you."

So no matter what is going on our lives, may we always remember:

¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*¸

::: (\_(\ ...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*¸..

*: (=' :')...*...*......*...The Will of God will never take you...*...*.¸

•.. (,('')('')¤..where the Grace of God cannot protect you*...*...*...*.

..*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*..*...*...*...*...*...*...*.¸*´

¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨` *•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*• *´¨`*.,

dare u to move

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here

LSS.

Keane - Somewhere Only We Know

One of my favorite English piano rock bands of all time :D



"Contrary to popular belief, this song is most likely not about lovers. Tim Rice-Oxley has said that the ‘somewhere only we know’ can be a great variety of things, and when writing the song, left it to be ambiguous, though he has thought of it as a sort of escape, such as a good memory or a favorite place." - LastFM

snob k ba tlga or below see level lng ako?

ano yun? anung see level? sea level? ahhh w8 let me think oh! uhmm teka nga! anu ba kc pnagsasabi mo? kung suplado ang tinatanung mo eh. marami nga nagsabi sakin nun! marami as whole world! even though i disagree. kc nmn pg sanabi na suplado means hindi nagreact pg kinausap, eh hindi nmn nila ako kinakausap! tiningnan lng nmn nila ako! anu suplado dun???????






hmmm... may personality di ba?

in fairness, likeable kasi sensible.

tahimik xa pero malaman magsalita.


(me: super react k nmn jan, kaya nga nagtatanong ako kase hindi ko po alam), hehe

ang mga stat nya, deep and heavy with meaning. Once, there was one na tunog Machiavelli.... it reminded me of those days when i used to read The Prince, The Art of War similar books. di malayo n nagbasa xa nun, but i doubt that we'll be discussing ;) he did not answer my last question eh... hehe.

marami pa xang sinabi, at dagdag pa, much better daw if i don't understand. but,
--wat f i understand? (well, maybe i don't but a part of me feels im getting the sense of it or maybe, im just curious. if not, simply remembering my own super suplada days and ways.)

basta, mtagal-tagal n din akong hnd nkka encounter ng ganito. for one, na appreciate ko na sinagot nya at least yung tanong ko.

the only trouble is that kung hindi xa suplado, "below see level" nga ako.....haay, nga naman.




footnotes:

suplado, is a tagalog word which means, a male individual who is conceited, and who acts like he has his own world. a snob, sometimes, arrogant, rude, and the likes of it. suplada connotes athe oppostie sex.-marciligci

>>i don't think he's really conceited, "acts like he has his own world" cguro a bit, hehe...

suplado - ( snobbing; snob ) its an attitude of a guy not to give attention to someone who is wanting one. suplada is for female...- demon_hunter_illidan

"left" is right after all ;D

There are choices that sometimes makes us feel regret but as rays of enlightenment touch the deep trenches of the dipsy-do trails of the human brain, we reach, with a big grateful heart, the conviction that it was just the right decision made and that there is no reason to be sad at all, but what is there is a rational idea that must be celebrated through and through for taking the courage of letting things take their natural order. :D

How to Sharpen a Pointless Pencil

Life is a tabula rasa, a blank sheet according to John Locke. Now, the pencil, which impresses its being on the tab, is only sharpened every till after it becomes dull or pointless, after by all means getting exhausted, wood and lead, and the sharpening is always a painful, purging experience. It need lose a lot of itself in order to gain the sharpness it desires. In the words of a forgotten poet, “[it] has to bleed, to purge, the dreams and the words, which in the humdrum of inexperience are being deliberated whether to be pursued and sustained or, be detested and deleted yet fittingly are disposed again on the deck to draw upon in time.” Tonight, a pointless pencil is sad and hurting because it can feel the blades of the sharpener cutting through it with every shedding.

:D writing :D sur la fin

writing

sur la fin

Quotes Fr Joseph's Easter Sunday message to the Catechumens:

"You cannot promise
not to hurt each other again,
but you can always promise,
never to walk away
even when it's hurting."