to be close to someone's heart, is different from being the one it beats for.
it is like standing in front of a house and you are not allowed to enter the door.
it is like watching life happening without the world giving a damn that you ever existed.
it is like finding yourself in a dream that you are so aware that you are dreaming only.
it has been said too many times, it is not good to be expecting; for, charity is to be without expectations. and yet the human heart is frail, just as the mind is frail, it is weak against the maddening thoughts that come along with that tender desire to be a part of somebody's world and life. and as this world and life spoken about opens itself up to the realities of the world the desiring heart thrives in, it is reason that compels it to its deathbed. in the case of the fearful heart, it is a doubled pain of seeing itself insignificant to win out a contest of feelings, and of feeling the torments of the judge's inadvertence to what the world is persistently witnessing.
dreams are truly magical events, for the magic of dreams is in the soul's believing it were real, and it can only be as plain ideas as an ordinary fragment of sand on the road when the mind's eye is awakened to the fact the dream's reality, is that it is but a dream.
and yet, i continue to believe in dreams and the magic that they are. for, my heart continues to beat, and my mind continues to wonder.....and so again with sleepless eyes that watch the pixie's hands sprinkling the minutest dusts, i am looking at the world through the blue moon lit wings of a firefly at dawn with palms closed onto each other in a sign of prayer.
"Rooted and built up in Jesus Christ, firm in the faith."
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